Introduction to Living Hell: The Story I Was Told to Keep Quiet

Author’s Note

This is my story — told through the eyes of the child I was, the person I became, and the soul I’ve always been, slowly unfolding.

To protect the privacy of those involved, and to stay focused on what truly matters, many names, relationships, and locations have been changed or left unnamed. This isn’t a book about blame. It’s not about revenge or humiliation.

It’s about truth — the kind that lives in silence, in the body, in memory.

It’s about survival. About love. About spiritual connection.

And about how pain can shape us… and still, somehow, not define us.

I’ve always been spiritually sensitive. Since I was young, I could feel what others couldn’t see. I still do. My path has never been only about healing the past — it’s also about understanding the unseen world that has walked with me through it all.

I’m not fully healed. I’m still working on myself.

But if sharing what I’ve lived can help someone else feel seen, understood, or a little less alone — then every word was worth it.

What matters most isn’t who did what, but what I carried… and how I continue to find my way through.

I hope you find it too.

Preface

I won’t soften anything I have lived, because if I do, it will hurt me — and I won’t be able to make you understand that you can heal your pain too.

I’m not telling you my story to blame anyone. I know I have my percentage of responsibility, even if I was just a child when I got deeply wounded. My hope is that if I share the pain, the consequences, and how I dealt with them, maybe it can help you. Maybe you can make better choices and decisions than I did.

Above all, I will show you — not with beliefs, or ideas repeated like everyone knows everything — but with real spiritual experiences. You might come to the same conclusions I did, or maybe not. Either way, I will be very specific. It’s up to you to believe it or not. You are free not to.

My life became a battlefield in every aspect. When you don’t have a strong foundation, when you’re emotionally sensitive, and spiritually connected on top of it — you can get hurt deeply on so many levels.

I truly hope that my experiences help you understand your own.

And maybe… begin to heal.

Introduction

For many years, I lived in survival mode. I was emotionally lost — swinging between pain, denial, and the desperate need to feel safe. I didn’t even realize I was codependent. I didn’t know I was avoiding reality. I thought I was just trying to protect myself… but the truth is, I had become disconnected — not just from others, but from myself.

I was desperate for love. I kept searching for it in people, places, and moments that couldn’t hold me the way I needed.

But in the end, I found it within myself.

Looking back now, I can see that I wasn’t crazy. I was traumatized.

I wasn’t weak. I was a child trying to survive in an unsafe world.

It took years — and I mean years — of facing painful memories, breaking cycles, and finally beginning to heal from what I had suppressed: child abuse, CPTSD, domestic violence, emotional neglect, depression, emotional codependency, and avoidance.

And little by little, I’ve found something I never thought I’d have — peace.

Not a perfect life. Not total closure. But emotional groundedness.

Clarity. Stability. A deeper connection with my soul.

For the first time, I can see the truth with objectivity — not from a place of blame or fantasy, but from a place of understanding.

This book is my story, but it’s also a message to anyone who has ever felt broken, unseen, ashamed, or silenced.

I know how hard it is to heal.

I know how alone it can feel.

And I also know… it’s possible.

My deepest hope is that in these pages, you find reflection, understanding, and maybe even a path back to your own light.

If I could find peace after everything, so can you.

You’re not alone.